Call me so I can make it juicy for ya
I need to surround myself with more reliable stoners...
He still lectured me about forgetting shit. Than he said he's gonna paint me green so I can stand in a corner and be a plant.
I don't know ur idea of a good first date but I'm pretty sure it shouldn't include him holding my hair while I puke in the street
Hey, 'thunder cock' as proud as I am for you getting laid, could you put a muzzle on her? I have to be up at 5, thanks.
Lemme guess, I was the one completely shit faced making out with the 50 year old...
LOL, wrong number bro. Good luck trying to figure out what happened though..
I was just told that i'm a premature cuddler. . . What does that even mean?
Whatever it is you failed
Our friendship would be less complicated if your dad didn't think I was forcing you into having gay sex with me
if I open my eyes, my head will explode. that hungover.
It was going alright when lo and behold Tom the cock blocking tornado hits. He is the only man I know who doesn't want anyone to fuck girls.
His new place is a molesden. Like a hole in the ground. It's frightening how oddly private it is.
It rubs the lotion on it's foreskin...
No offense, I mean I'm sure you rocked my world and all but I don't remember.
Before he left he told me if his girlfriend ever finds out, she'll take us both to an alley and kill us.
Thanks for supporting me through Robs retirement. I'm still in shock, but your dick helped.
I don't want to be flamboyant (says the guy who bought a hot pink suit to be a flamingo for Halloween)--but I don't mind being a little extra.
Randomize
