As long as you don't die I'm in full support of your drinking decisions
you're the only person I know who would bring a water bottle of screwdriver to a wedding, and toast with it during the speech
My mom said that if she can come this weekend, she'll buy the weed.
its official. the only way for my hair to look good is to blow somebody
he was too drunk to climb up my loft. i owe my beating teen pregnancy to four pieces of steel
I had a dream about a vibrator with 42 different settings. If that's not a good indication I need to get laid, I don't know what is
We just saw two bitche in pink capris jazzercising down the road. On Thanksgiving.
I just thought about how many drinks I had last night and threw up.
He will be so fat that the winter can not penetrate his blubber.
I hooked up with a guy named Quan.. I literally hit the Quan
She was doing drunken zumba and screaming "FUCK YOU I HAVE MY OWN STYLE!" at the TV
Remember I am not doing blow tonight. I REPEATE NO COCAINE unless I do it with your mom
got some info she was last seen with some guy wearing goggles
he was really really nice, and I did coke off of his dong that night too
I am eating croutons on my bathroom floor. Are you happy?!
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