operation have a gay friend backfired
she was so wasted that she tried to tuck me in and read the jokes on the taco bell sauce as a bed time story
Just threw up off a chairlift. my life is now complete.
If I had a penis, I would stick it EVERYWHERE. I don't know what these guys are doing.
don't be alarmed if you come back and i'm passed out drunk and naked cuddling with the franzia.
laying naked on couch sucking water through straw. i can still feel the orgasm from last night. thank you mdma.
I'm wearing your poncho, and only your poncho. I'm not getting pulled over like this.
My mom got me high and then dropped me off at a church.
I've abandoned trying to find a logical explanation of your life.
I was just informed that I have the perfect belly button for body shots... Best compliment ever.
If our sexual relationship was relative to the Harry Potter series, I would have claimed the Wizard's Cup at least ten times.
you told the taxi driver your yeast infection was so bad you wanted to F a popsicle
I apparently got up in the middle of the night after fucking him and started looking for you under piles of his clothing
We were so amazed while watching mission impossible ghost protocol last night we didn't even have sex
I think I came out of my blackout as I was ordering wine from the private wedding reception.
Its like people have to train for months before they try and drink with us and survive...
Randomize
