They have glow in the dark condoms. That's so scary.
Something like a penis light saber.
the red, white, and blue power rangers were all also in the porn buisness, good bye childhood
an off duty cop drove behind me last night to make sure i didnt get a dui. i was blacked out drunk and on a pill of ecstacy. he knew this. i must be really pretty.
Fell asleep on the Grass at Lolla woke up in the Brown line. What. The. Fuck.
There's something odd about buying beer for the first time while wearing my school sweater from kindergarten, but I don't mind.
Apparently I was so drunk I threw my entire wallet at the stripper on stage. That was the third time I should've gotten kicked out.
I remember just enough about last night to wish I didn't remember anything.
so exactly what is concert sex etiquette? Before, during or after???
all of the above
If I have to masturbate more than twice a week you fail as a fuck buddy. Just so you know...................you failed
Go makeout with Mickey Mouse so we can get FastPass tickets
Like a gentleman I waited until you were done vomming to start my Big Mac.
I drank so much that my feet don't feel like my feet
Your life is quite full of dick lately.
It really is!
He saw me naked after our first date and still asked for a second.. so I think we’re doing good
Is she talking about a testicle cuff or just a cock ring? How did you meet this girl?
Is there a big difference?
It’s about the same as the difference between a night of drunken sex with a stripper at the Bellagio and being robbed and left for dead by a crystal meth tweaker
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