Yeah I'm pretty sure at one point I was telling her to keep her dick in her pants. She was going to do some serious damage.
i hate when u poo a lot and when u wipe theres no poopy residue on the TP. it makes me feel like my butt hole is hiding something from me. just had 2tell sum1.
I just wanna buy a tempur-pedic so i can drink in bed and not spill
You hit on the cop telling him you were celebrating the anniversary of your 21st birthday and ur boob job... That's how he got ur #
ah tequila...
She went into the basement and sang to my cat for three hours....she actually has a beautiful voice....
Be careful there's warming lubricant on the floor. I will clean and explain later.
Dude I walked 1.4 miles through the hotel wearing a cowboy hat, pink topped boots, gucci shades, and a scarf and met my parents in the hallway at 7 am how is this not a good start to Vegas?
Tiny.
I mean tony. It's like autocorrect knows he wasn't well endowed.
Just saw a guy I fucked in a clown suit in the bar. It's not Halloween. I have got to start making better life decisions.
I still count it as showing your tits. Even though the wall was the only one who saw anything. Your boyfriend was pissed.
I really want to throw this drink in your face but it was 6 dollars that shits expensive
So wait. Let me get this straight lol... you... are are considering offering fetish services to "trample and own" someone for $80 in order to pay for someone to come organize ur shit? Pure genius.
She called to say her plane was running late and i had 30minutes to get to the airport for bathroom sex
I got really adventurous too. Like. Balls in the mouth adventurous.
So she was amazing, that's what. Idk if it was the blow or the blowjob, but both my heads are still tingling.
Randomize
