she calls it her "sourpuss" because everyone makes that face when they see it.
Soo....this goes on the list of odd coincidences. My gyno calls me while I'm going at it, leaves me a message. I check it later... thank God I tested negative.
The ratio was 19 to 1 and the 1 was lauren so it didn't even count.
You told me when we were leaving the club if I could pin point your nipple through your padded bra you would show me if I was right.
some girl just asked me if I was that guy that hooked up with nine girls in one night. officially a local celebrity. gonna try and autograph her boobs.
he may be homeless but his dick however is not... anymore.
IM A SHIT SUOW THE GUYS AT THE PMACR TOLD ME AJDBO I WEBF RO WALNARY WITH OU SHOES! I WASHT LLOWES FLOWERSA
I feel like a color. Like a wavy color
I used to put Bugles on my penis and pretend it was a wizard.
its one thing to be single and another thing to be single and then have your profile picture be of you and the cat
your picture is with misty too!!
I AM SINGLE BY CHOICE
I just had a great idea for an etsy shop. Sell all the shit bitches leave from one nighters
Not as great as when your drunk mom grabbed my junk, but better than when your sober grandma sacktapped me and grabbed my butt.
Well. Another one of my exes came out of the closet.
He wouldn’t know a good thing if it bit him on the ass. Which, btw, I did.
Feel free to drag me back to reality at your convenience
Randomize
