she really just asked how mermaids reproduce.
so I think I'm done having sex with her, she's way too crazy
what about the blowjobs for adderall?
no those are still okay
dude she has hot friends.. do you want blonde brunette or red head.. maybe asian?
what is this build-a-bear? .. just gimme one thats breathing
he made me have a moment of silence for the half of my ice cream cone i threw away.
Just got a event reminder on my phone to never party with you again.
He sent me $300 worth of sex toys. My clitoris went into hiding after two days.
I mean you can't really blame him. He's named after whiskey and I don't get along with pants.
i ended up playing naked naked monopoly and hangman with my dealer. i really love my life.
How does one go about breaking up with their bf on vacation?
I joined the mile high club last night. I ran a mile while high on coke. It was glorious
I have banged to "The Emperor's New Groove" way more than could possibly be reasonable.
Ask him to BK for an ice cream cone and do him in the car. That counts as a date
I found myself looking up beard accounts while masturbating, I guess that's what it's come to.
You tried to lick the lightbulb and fell off of the chair onto my wife and gave her a concussion. Did i mention you were naked?
I woke up next to a Big Mac box.. And had no sheets or clothes on. The night was a success I think.
Randomize
