I want to see a picture of the girl worth ruining our relationship for
my dad just told me that a lesbian kissed my mom at a bar last year
I'm so drunk I cant read cursive anymore.
So he flipped me over and suddenly went limp then told me he was thinking about his ex.
so you punched his junk, right?
dont you remember the bouncer yelling at you while you were trying to piss?
no. why was the bouncer in the bathroom?
he wasn't. neither were you.
Is drinking merlot and watching womens figure skating by myself gay?
How can I not totally like a guy that told me my boobs were too big for me to be taught how to play golf?
I though us hooking up in the field was your way of saying you were an outdoors person
I can feel the judgmental stares of Christians from around the world right now.
He's both a cowboy and a firefighter. Saying "no" was not an option.
Pro: she asked me to be a bridesmaid. Con: i only have about nine months to get over a phobia of midget strippers.
lol I'll trade you jello for a tampon
what a trade!
I knew it was Christmas when someone handed me a stocking filled with airplane bottles. Ps just woke up 3 days later
I think I had sex with a seagull last night. The window is open and there a feathers everywhere.
I am still worried she'll have a seizure durring. What would I do? Try to ride it out and finish, or pull out and assist?
Randomize
