I am too high to leave where I am...And they are listening to Stained. This is my living hell.
just walked past a girl in her cap and gown puking her brains out beside a tree. her friends were taking pictures of her.
I just used a coupon while buying plan B. The pregnant sales clerk nodded in approval.
Brutal- a couple weeks back I had a 28 hr blackout and four day hangover. S'why I decided to haul it in
She better not be too drunk to operate a blowtorch
i'm gonna need a rally to restore sobriety after this weekend...
I think not having bongs in close range is good for my academia
I'm cleaning my apartment while naked. Anyone who says that's not why they want to live on their own is lying.
EMERGENCY FRIEND CRISIS: WE HAVE TOO MUCH WHISKEY. ABORT HANGING OUT WITH MELISSA, RECOMMEND TO HANG OUT WITH OUR WHISKEY INSTEAD
Can you please explain to me why there are 7 bags of tacos in my bed?
I want to fling myself into the sun
my extended weekend of being as irresponsible as possible started with blowing the bartender in the bar bathroom. off to a good start.
What's the rule for getting in fights with homeless men in suits?
Here's a rule: don't
I just need a fucking pair of pants. Is that too much to ask for?
Rain drop, shock top, drinking can't stop stop
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