just do him I won't tell jon
um i'm guessing you meant to send this to tina, thanks for the support in our relationship you whore
I only have two rules. But i've fotgotten those rules and replaced them w 2 other rules
hey call me
can't. in the shower.
... and this is probably why your phone does not work half the time.
I just used Master P to describe what sound the letter U makes to my daughter...
I'm at the bass pro shop. They have a river full of trout and turtles, a shooting range, a full bar, and the patriots cheerleaders are here. I now understand why people are rednecks. I may never leave
He said finals are more important than getting stoned on 4/20. I'm proud in a disappointing kinda way
but he used his one phone call to call mom and wish her happy mothers day, that's gotta count for somethin
We decided to go to McDs, but we only had a few minutes to make it to breakfast. We were sprinting full speed ahead when she tripped and you just yelled 'LEAVE HER' and kept your course.
Sorry about sucking tonight. Drunk truck fucking is apparently not my strong point.
Its official vodka lemonade jager and whiskey with coorslight is a bad combination of try to forget the work week cocktail ps bring alkaseltzer
I'll be gone when you wake up but you hit a girl so I knocked you out. Never hit a girl. Unless it's with your penis.
My costume for the end of the world party was a success. Everyone in the ER thought I was there because I got hit by a car when it was actually from alcohol poisoning.
I am having the most awesome nonsexual conversation about my vagina right now
She said she wouldn't get out of hand. When the cops showed up she jumped off the 4ft high porch and fell into a ditch. She then buried herself because she was wearing light pants and though the light from the cops flashlights would reflect off her pants. We couldn't find her for 40 minutes.
I do remember that in my dream I wasn't impressed with his dick.
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