i just used my scantron for my final to make paper shotglasses. i'd say i passed in flying colors.
If we don't get kicked out of this hotel tonight for fucking too loud we're breaking up
I'm playing a game where i judge myself by whats in my cart. Also have 3 bright red giant buckets
You called him your tasty little crouton. Which actually wasn't the weirdest part.
I've also decided that the true test of whether or not you should marry a girl is if she will willingly blow you while you eat Oreos.
Drinking games this Saturday as usual although the ice cube tray game is banned due to last weeks incident
Don't smoke out front when you get home there's gasoline involved I'll tell you later
And now I'm drinking leftover wine in the grad lounge because fuck my life
Btw "you gettin a workout in" isn't a great gym pickup line. Like no I'm fucking grabbing lunch on my way to class.
I woke up naked in her room. More precisely, I woke up naked in her room with her and her sister laughing at my penis. I hate my life.
Don't tell him that you hope he dies in a boring missionary position with his wife. That doesn't go over well.
The body is still out there. I don't think my trainer realized when he asked me not to drink for 24 days, how often I see dead people
Keep two things coming: nudes and puppy pictures
Never going back to jail again. Only time in my life I've ever had a wet dream about jerking it...
If I'm getting through this pandemic I'm doing it drunk.
Randomize
