she looks like someone took a bunch of spare parts and glued them all on one face. it's quite horrifying.
He kissed a someone with a penis
im spending all my christmas money on new years parafanalia aka things I will ingest or lose by the next morning
Whats a good hint for stop bitching im gonna give you head
I think I might have accidentally had a threesome last night with two good friends. See, this is what happens when you leave me.
is it customary for a bride to wear white even if she's a whore? i feel tie-dye would have been more accurate
he slapped my stomach and proclaimed it a baby-free zone
I think mounting someone proves who's house this is
Dude, you sent that text at 9:44 AM. Who thinks of drugs that early?
So high I started crying because I was proud of Snoop Dogg for becoming Snoop Lion
Half of my brain feels like I donated it to science and they basically just poured jack Daniels on it and put out cigarettes into it before returning it to my skull
When the nurse referred to my vag as "your downstairs", I knew I found the perfect Doctors office.
I'm laughing at the fact that I'm at Target right now buying vitamins and alcohol.
Just don't let me do two things: Beer bongs filled with vodka or shot competitions
She came home, put on the news, left a 20 minute drunk message on her friends machine, then proceeded to play back the entire message laughing hysterically and then just passed out
Randomize
