I'd wear matching sweaters with you
Milquetoast, coolest word ever.
He just kept telling me how to do certain things. It was like I was fucking my sex ed teacher
I miss the days when all my weekends consisted of were 69 and crunchwraps
my favorite part of the night was when I was in the bathroom frantically trying to get my cat whiskers and nose off to make hooking up less awkward
Currently coming up with judgment, the game. Works well on buses, will probably be more entertaining in bars.
I'd rather make snow angels in a pool of elephant shit.than sleep with him.
I think that's the first time Navy dress blues and a Ninja Turtles onesie have been involved in the same makeout.
Dying on my bathroom floor at 7 am, I would rather be eaten by a shark right now
He's so twisted that he's acting out Dragon Ball-Z by himself. The Tanquray and THC combo doesn't play around.
had a nice chat with the older gay fellow who works in the bakery at the new vons about vday...we both feel that it's a day of dashed expectations & concerns that we'll have to be cut out of our spanx
You can't just walk around stealing hats from drunk boys and peeing in bathtubs. Turn down.
i rearranged my furniture so i could masturbate in the sun. how's that for spring cleaning?
After walking ten blocks barefoot in Boston I've concluded drunk me needs to make better decisions.
The fact that you cheered yourself on while you puked saying it was your first college puke, blacked out, and sang taylor swift to the toilet confirms the fact that we are related. I've never been more proud.
Randomize