you keep denying me to hang out, should i take a hint?
you keep asking me after midnight, should i take a hint?
I almost got runover on the sidewalk by a car but wen it got closer it was a crackhead walking with the whole front of a car... bumper, lights and all... I love New York.
just got the results back. i love his dick even more now i know its clean
Im only pretending to be his friend so I can sleep with his girlfriend.
If I had to give her an idea on what it means to be ur date I would compare it to being Ralph macchio's gf in the first karate kid... That's one of the coolest things I've ever said... I love drugs.
I'm over this relationship. I'm just going to get drunk all day, wake up in a puddle of my own vomit again, and go on with my life
My nose hurts from that stripper beating me with her tits
Try not to get arrested for it, but otherwise i support you
He's CUTE. and foreign
Rule of thumb; if you ask me if my tits are fake you will not get to touch them.
It's gotten so bad I typed my will out on my phone in case it's over.
Seriously, though. As long as it's attached to you and is not a vagina, I will not be disappointed.
Getting drunk at 9 am is not a super power.
At what point can I admit that I hate going to house parties?
I don't wanna stand in your shitty kitchen making small talk while I guard the quality booze I brought.
I love you as a roommate, but you GOTTA start using the door dude..
You can't go around chasing people and screaming JUST LET ME LOVE YOU. We're in a public place.
There is a dude with blue hair and a samurai sword and another dude dressed as Dead Pool. I daresay standard social conventions are not applicable in this environment.
Randomize