Redeem this text for a blowjob
There are rumors he has a square penis....ill do anything though....
I got a bikini wax for the first time today and I think I now understand feminism.
I woke up to you in just boxers at my door at 7a.m. with you saying how many squrriels you counted on the walk back, then you made me penis shaped pancakes
I just spent 30 minutes cleaning out my coleman grill. Did you really have to have grilled yogurt?
Potato salad is not cupcake ingredient
She's just so happy...and so naked.
S.O.S. he's talking about horses and breast feeding.
He held the beaver pelt from the fireplace over my crotch and asked his friend "she look familiar now?", he then remembered my name.
So I'm pretty sure I told every one at the party that "I'm going to fuck my pillow pets tonight?"
He wants to tie me naked and spread out on his table, press a vibrator to my clit and feed me ice cream.
That is my stoner wet dream!
honestly dont worry about it, its not the first time ive injured myself on a potted cactus during sexual relations with a woman
I feel like I should remember what we did after leaving the party because apparently a llama was involved, but all I can manage is the part where I asked you to cuff my ankle to the bed so I wouldn't backflip away.
By god, his vagina is better looking than mine.
I've only hooked up with engineers this year and it may be the best future financial decision I've ever made
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