I think I took your hangover as a birthday present
I went to moterboat her and I started laughing, so I just kinda blew on them... I think I'm gona call that move the sailboat.
you were making out, puked over his shoulder and insisted everything was okay
Her breakfeast in bed consisted of half a pop tart that I didn't want, and water that I slipped birth control into... Who says chivalry is dead?
well at that point we were just fucking to keep warm.
She just said, "are my livers going to die?"
He passed out. Woke up long enough to declare himself "the sauce boss" and then bit me in the face.
i think we should start charging the bum that sleeps on our porch rent..
Breakfast=the leftover margarita in my car. Have a great day.
he handed me my panties in front of my date. turns out he wasn't that mad.
Teasing with taco bell is not funny. High or sober.
if the furniture in my bedroom wasn't shape shifting... this would be a different story.
It is not if she takes a guy home Karaoke night. It is how many.
She said she was hoping I'd be hotter. I told her I didn't see anybody standing in line to titty fuck her either. She was a great kisser.
You threw away your W2 to make more room in your purse for liquor.
Randomize
