oh, also, we're locked out of the house and we're going to have to take shelter with the hot, poss single, dad next door. i hope this turns into a porno
when im bored during the day i often think, what do people who dont get high do with their day.. i came to the conlcusion that everyone must be getting high
I just saw Sharon Stone's cootch in high def. I think I'll stay gay.
i love rice pilaf. whoever invented that i would give them a hug.
I walked into cold stone and the guy started preparing a supersized birthday cake remix for "Mrs. Munchies"
Should I be alarmed that you're a regular enough at a bar to show up in sweatpants?
i was congratulating myself on not falling down the stairs when i walked into the wall. it's like one step forward, two steps into the fucking wall
Nothing like a marijuana chart of usage in each country to make me understand math.
Besides. I seriously had a dream that George W Bush came over and slapped some tabs down on my kitchen counter and said "let's get juiced.". It was a sign to not get too fucked up
I creeped him on fb. I'm about 90% sure I just blew him in the same tux he wore for his wedding..
If there's anything my liberal arts education has taught me, it's belligerence.
I just wanna inform you guys that the first pregnancy scare of 2016 is over...
I'm killing it this week, I've peed my pants and put my vibrator into the washing machine.
Omg the sex was so good my ears popped. Thank god too. Cause then I didn't have to hear him going on and on about his dumbass feelings. It's called a booty call bitch.
my very deepest apologies for the unintentional cock block.
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