i'd like someone to explain to me why my clothes are all sticky. including my fanny pack. yes, this is a mass text.
he asked me out through an event invitation on facebook, the title read Romantic Dinner For 2
I have to collect my sorority sisters from greek row... I hate how being dd is a night and morning job
You two were too busy to notice that his used condom landed on me when he threw it.. Thanks.
im not picky. i just want someone whod go down on me while im writing my psych midterm paper. thats not a lot to ask.
Getting too drunk for the hot dog vendor to serve me is possibly a sign of an alcohol problem. I threw up in the sewer grates next to his stand
He just referred to himself as a sharp shooter. I had sex with that.
No. I want to vom filet mignon and ziti bits everywhere and my body feels like I ran a cock triathalon. I feel less triumphant and more like death.
I've had to much cheese to give a fuck about anything. im tired.
Whatever, consider condoms an eighteen year investment.
I could probably save all of the money I would have spent on condoms and put a kid through college.
So I've discovered that being hungover at 25 feels the same as being hungover at 24. Happy Birthday to me.
Trying to figure out if the guy I'm with right now is the same guy I met spring break
Oh duude it is the guy from spring break! Awk.
If I spent my amateur stripper money does that mean I am cleansed of my sins?
I just let my boss bend me over his desk and spank me. I think that is some sort of American dream.
No we didn't talk. I was high and doing naked yoga in the living room when she walked in so it was just awkward. I didn't even know my dad had a girlfriend.
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