Why do I feel like I used to feel when I almost got caught looking at porn when I get caught looking at facebook at work
Wouldn't pinatas filled with coke be awesome idea for cinco de mayo?
Kinda felt bad though cuz she whimpered and shuttered a lot, i felt like i was kicking a puppy, only the puppy liked it and came a bunch
I'm fucked up. I can't drink anymore. We stole a cat.
high as fuck. watching parent trap with my mom. keep missing my mouth.
It wasn't so much skinny dipping. It more like skinny walking...through a fountain.
Why are you awake at 6am and liking photos from rando Russian chicks on Instagram?
Just beer bonged tequila, broke into the hotel next door and got chased by security. It's spring break
Dude. I tried to hide my drunk wounds from my parents. Response: "we were young once" and "oh god, did I raise a drunk?"
You are beyond drunk wounds. You have drunk battle scars. A true veteran of the sidewalk
Is the mullet a good, great, or horrible idea before we leave for college
Somehow I ended up in a different costume dancing with some tree of a guy in the basement bathroom, what did you give me?
I mean, "boo" isn't the appropriate response to someone dying...
Just remember that no one else gets to suck his dick but you, feel honored. It's like the Olympic torch of life is being passed off to you and it's your time to run
So I just went to clothing optional bar
Sorry for trying to wake you up by slapping your ass with a fruit 2 go.
Randomize