We walk out of his house and his dad is there, so I had to meet him and shake his hand pretending that same hand hadn't been down his son's pants five minutes earlier
Saying she let herself go implies she was actually holding on
I am currently prioritizing my hw by splitting into things i can and things i cant do drunk. Oh college
you're out of your mind
you look like daphne blake and he looks like fozzie bear
it's like he rubbed a lamp and wished you into existence
i know im back at school when i can poke any random spot on my body and expect a 80% chance that theres a bruise there
Oh come on. There's no way I was the only female choir student taking shots in the back room.
I have not carelessly put myself in herpes way since I got a clean bill of health tyvm.
I'm not making any promises. But if I start throwing food at you, just go with it.
We tried the hang n bang, remember? You ruined it by crying and telling me you loved me while blowing me.
I'm treating this like a real date. My boobs aren't even out.
I'm so proud, I have tears
But wait then while giving his drive thru order he goes in mid sentence, "Hey baby it's Travis remember me?"
So the next time I call you and say I'm going to my first strip club because it's christmas eve eve, and have work the next morning, I'd appreciate you stopping me
How weird would it be for me to get 1 hour photos printed at CVS of my partially or all nude?
HELL YEAH TIME TO KICK THE CHILDREN
I knew I was in for a long night after I filled the empty pinata carcass with beer, bit off the top of one of it's legs and used it as a beer bong.
Randomize
