Apparently when he woke up I was tripping my face off. Everytime the cat meowed I would meow back. This went on for several hours.
he's super hid and wouldn't leave us alone so i snatched his phone and started texting lovelink (thanks for a well-timed commercial) that will cost him money. muhahaha
sometimes you just have to masturbate at your friend's house.
I'm totally counting that party when he kept putting his hands down my pants as a date.
I hope that the reason I've been psycho on him is that I'm pregnant and not just psycho.
Hey its the Filipino guy from last night. I just wanted to say sorry my friend bled all over your driveway. Great party though.
you just kept saying 'take out my tanks' and tell the cab driver to go slower, i have no idea what you were talking about but i'm glad you had fun.
Yknow what, if there is a thug life for white bitches, I'm living it. I went out on a date, watched howls moving castle with my brother till he passed out, then went and got some a+ dick, and made it home in time to take my mom to work. Now its 7am, I'm in bed with some free tacos, and when I'm done eating I'm going to sleep. What a great night.
masturbating on the freeway is more stressful than it sounds
I'm sorry I was just sleeping on the kitchen floor I'm too dead to think
You spilt a drink on my couch, then used my dog to mop it up... you called her a mop dog, repeatedly
I think even the taco bell employees judged me
You don't have to buy me dinner, watch tv or even hang out if you don't want. Just fuck.
Memeber that time you got detained in Poland. We don’t talk about that enough
I think I broke my dick but 10/10 would definitely do it again.
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