I feel like I'm in dance class right now
all I know is if I don't watch spice world right now there will be a firefight.
Chicken burrito, or no deal.
Is that code for my vagina?
Who the fuck has ever referred to a vagina as a chicken burrito
it was beautiful and magic like when a hot girl grabs her own tits and smiles at you
she just made me lysol my hands in order to touch her tits.
Fell into a man hole last night. I've been bleeding since 11pm. Got kicked out of the bar for being bloody.
I'm drinking whiskey outta the bottle trying to earn the trust of some ducks in the yard
we boned then he told me that he had a thing for my gay roommate. worst night ever
You kept running up to married couples, taking their pictures and begging for them not to get divorced
I fingered myself to realization that I don't need birth control if there is never a guy.
Seriously??? You send me boob shots with your husband and kids in them???
I need to stop acting like a drunk bitch. People are going to get the right idea about me...
Ps I think male models just broke down outside or maybe gay German sex travelers
if elf comes on TV one more time i swear to god i will smash my brains out with this fruitcake
kind of bad when u call a cop an asshole for driving you home from the bar
Randomize
