She acts like you when your on meds
She acts like batman?
he wanted me to dress up like someone from lord of the rings. I dumped him.
I just saw a girl licking a cheeseburger wrapper. dont ever let me get that fat
Trying to convince my mother to let me take some of my sisters Lortab to sell is not going well
she was wide awake when they drew a treasure map on her face the she passed out and they played like 7 games of tic tac toe haaa how was your new years
She's a virgin AND a minister's daughter. We're one schoolgirl outfit from the dear penthouse trifecta
You basically told your boyfriend at the time you were going to shit in his hands.
And I meant every ounce of it.
That's the best thing about having gay dads, you don't gotta do shit on mothers da and everybody is down wit getting wasted on mimosas at brunch
I just got head while watching air force one. Harrison ford would be proud.
I. recorded a message of me yelling at myself to "get up out of that bed" and set it an alarm. REALLY loud
I wound up running down the street in 12 degree weather in just my bra and then fell asleep cuddling my bottle. You tell me how last night went.
He doesn't want a full on relationship, he provides me with all the weed I can handle and gives me multiple mind blowing orgasms. He's my soul mate.
I was supremely disappointed in the lack of dick and doughnuts in my life last week.
Someone just needs to roll me into a blanket burrito and feed me drugs
You did what with his pubic hair?
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