Why did we buy the only spinning apartment on campus?
I wish costco sold astroglide.
i wish my brain was less awake, and didn't try and picture what you were talking about.
just saw bouncers outside a coffee shop. beginning to question humanity.
Goodbye hot boy in my geo class...goodbye my lover, goodbye my friend. you have been the one, you have been the reason I came to claassss
I'm home with mono, wearing knee high socks, shorts, a stained old shirt, and a surgical mask. He comes over ANYWAY with soup, a gas mask, billions of DVDs, and eats me out. He's either stupid, whipped, or i'm just THAT good.
I'm quite proud of this turning point from one night stands to giving some guy a BJ to fix my car for free.
Ia nefed hefelkp i am a taxi
There's a pair of socks on the bar. No-one's questioned this.
Just hit him with your car. I can guarantee he won't do it again.
I hope my tampon is in his bed. That'll teach him. Happy new years btw
I definitely pole-danced a parking meter outside a party last night. The cheering was appreciated.
Pretty sure my boss knows there's Jack smell coming out of my pores right now... He just gave me a look...
For 15 minutes straight, he literally did every accent there was, from Russian to Bostonian. The issue: no one could determine whether he was sober, wasted, or anywhere in between
I'd give my right arm to start my period. My right arm. Thats more significant then my left.
The party pretty much ended once she shit on the couch
Randomize
