i love my job...i have craft hour at my desk w twizzlers
can u grab me a application
I knew we were gonna fuck after she told me she's seen that Porno before
Watching intervention at a bar. Who let this happen??
Just waterfalled in the movie theatre... this is the beginning to a good night
i just packed a bowl on a big bird place mat and smoked it in a spaceship with a slide. i love babysitting.
I love drunk self when he leaves a prepacked bong for the morning... in the bathroom.
Urine might work for jellyfish stings, but we found out it doesn't work well for nose bleeds...
Side note, we are 25 fighting over our sophmore year RAs Drunk facebook attention
Where was your thought process?
Drowning in my hangover.
was it me or did you scream 'champagne motherfucker' when you punched him in the face ??
What was she thinking? I'm not in the business of charity fucks anymore.
I am eating deep fried cinnamon rolls and I found a lighter in my sprinkles. I miss you.
I don't know whether to call the hospital or call the prison first.
to drive Frat boys away, one just needs to cat-call at them. It makes their masculinity weaker, and yours stronger.
Would it be irresponsible to use my tax refund for a boob job?
Yes. Highly encouraged though.
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