The party tonight has no theme but I decided to go as a home wrecker.
why doesnt he love me? i have tried everything. i even sang to him after sex.
you have got to be kidding?
he just tried to lick my eyebrow. thats the deal breaker.
Is it bad to go up to the security desk and ask them for the name of the guy I signed in last night? I have absolutley no clue
i took it, then realized you live 3 ours away. but if you start driving now, im almost positive I'll still be hard
I'm up to 9 pic of different guys. I need 4 more boys and each one of the 13 to submit 3 additional pics. I wanna make a penis deck of cards.
I couldn't function. I was to the point where I was using a bottle cap as a monocle.
She looked at me and said "i like penises." and then passed out with her condom balloon animal in her hands.
he just hooked up with some chick in a bedroom upstairs so I just went to sleep in the pantry closet...
I drank, I fought, I made my ancestors proud.
And then someone hit me with a pool cue
I'm mailing you cans of corn and that's final.
She said her name is "Goose" and regardless of her being a lesbian, sometimes she just "needs a good dick"
I think I left my thong in your bed. Careful. It has the power to destroy the agitator on a washing machine
Other than the whole stab wound in my leg thing, today was pretty good. The nurses all loved me and gave me a sandwich and juice.
she prefaced telling me she was pregnant with "houston, we have a problem"
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