the beds are so narrow its like a jenga threesome
everytime someone famous vagina shows up in pics, i have to go check my own vagina to make sure mine dont look all wrinkledy and flabby like that....i want my lips plump and succulent
I just set a weed brownie on fire in the microwave.
Successful day.
At least you didnt end up topless in a Tina Turner wig singing cabaret tunes
I still love him regardless of his misguided forays into heterosexuality
I was desperately holding on to my sandwich while we had sex.
She can't meet us until 830...there's no hope for our sobriety at that hour
he signed me a blank check so today i get to decide if i want to be a saint or a millionaire
antibiotics and champagne: breakfast of champions
Is it bad if I just put band-aids over my nipples? Way too hungover be dealing with a bra
A big thanks to that bride-to-be, Her fiance and his loaded friends will forever hold a place in my heart for the generous tequila body shots on the couch at Henry's.
My TA is here with a sombrero and an entire bottle of Svedka. Skip jury duty.
I got the beer and the first aid kit. You get the tequila and burn cream. We should be set for the camping trip.
I just met a drunk old lady with a bedazzled life alert alarm around her neck. I love casinos
Are you still passed out in my back seat, or do I need to come find you?
Randomize
