Anal astronaut?
Wow word travels fast.
Evryone should know as good ramen noodle cooked in beer sounds... its not
its official now. im not pissing on secret service cars with a senators inside anymore.
My mom just found some of our lube mixed in with my box of pots and pans. I hate moving home.
Almost just got kicked out of a bar because the locals spilled beer everywhere when we taught them to shotgun.
i decided i'll just settle for a gay guy who can manage to fuck me like the straight guys do. but here i go again, talking about my dream man.
Come down. You're the next contestant on this bowl.
I'm. Arresyed bur sierra ue obbe of mt vet friends. I hope we can tyajk ane gwt ob the same page. Ur aweaome ttyl.
we went from five shot glasses to three in one night. we lost 'badass' and gumbi, but the ninja turtle survived. courtney says to avoid any more casualties we're not allowed to use shot glasses past 1am. and we're not allowed to throw them
I'm gonna take my bong and hot box the pirate ship in the daycare playground.
Lmfao I'm not trying to have a pissing contest over acid with my mom.....
So are we just not going to talk about the time I came home to you jerking it in the kitchen?
You spent the entire night trying to get me to make out with you
yeah I remember. your boyfriend shouldnt have cheered me on though.
with the possibility that i could very easily fall in love with him and i've actually talked to my HUSBAND about it
In between explaining the best feminist lenses for the myth of Persephone and doing vodka shots with my friends she dragged me into my car and gave me an Earth shattering blow job. Honestly I think I'm in love.
Randomize
