the people of mcdonalds are all starring at me & this dude like they know we just slept together
my mom is pro-life. I dare you to fuck me.
You were running around with scissors offering people free haircuts.
He posted on my wall. Idk if I'm ready for that big of a commitment.
she went to her friend's wedding and caught the bouquet. as the unwilling rebound, can i run away now?
I know for sure he's a bro because he closed the door so my gf didn't see me hooking up with her cousin.
And then he told me he was too tired for me to suck his dick. Physically and mentally too tired for me to suck his dick. What the fuck?
We will. we just need a little inspiration.... in smoke form.
I almost died in that meeting. Nearly dried up and blew away in the pure powder form of boredom
I know that feel bro
Last thing I remember was a hand in the pants. Then I woke up next to a full beer and a McDouble, which I promptly had for breakfast.
I nicked my vulva while shaving and I'm about to go on a date where I will be having sex. Which bandaid: My Little Pony or princesses?
He was licking my ear while recommending that I shop at IKEA. I think he's my perfect guy.
Thanks for ruining my life with your man penis
Pornhub is actually a very wholesome website
at this point, i'm only going to therapy to get more free condoms
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