I think I just saw the silver monkey from legends of the hidden temple sitting out in someone's trash
GO. BACK. NOW.
If i off myself, it'll be in a lobster costume in the hot tub with butter...
sent the pic of my tit to the wrong bbm chatroom
so what if he's got a new girlfriend. the guy i'm fucking has an english accent. i win.
I'm sure that's not what the inventers of the Turkey baster had in mind, but that's what I had in mine.
Hypothetically, how much legal trouble do you think i will be in for stealing someone's dog?
If you don't come out tonight, who's going to wake us up in the morning because they're fucking in the middle of the room where everyones sleeping?
She kept pulling joints out of her bra and asking strangers for birthday hugs.
Can I just have sex with him and then never talk to him? I need him to be the Mr. Miyagi of my sex life.
Regret, thy taste is box wine.
If you buy me a steak I will make the extra effort to ride you. If not, I'm just gonna lay there.
Like I could never be a lawyer because I would just look like a porn star impersonation of a lawyer.
I don't know about this Sanders guy after all. I'm voting for MYSTERY BABYLON, WHORE OF ALL THE EARTH
Hillary?
wtf why is there glitter all over my dog
we finally found him at 2 am. he was 3 miles from the house and tried running into the lake when he saw us pull up. i don't think he'll be taking ecstacy again any time soon.
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