There's a technique?! I just slide my tongue around
No, I can't hang out with Dave because he already has a girlfriend. The one with the tatoos of cherries on her "cherry." Yeah, she doesn't really make me feel spectacularly comfortable.
You stole her cigarette screaming that you were going to stop the air cancer from getting everyone.
at least i was looking out for everybody
I am swimming in semen. He must have been holding it in for a special occasion.
I think I should have my paycheck direct deposited to the bar
I had to stop messing around with him for fear of laughing in his face. I swear it was a pinky finger in his pants
She kept sniffing my sweater and tried to guess what type of detergent I use.
does the girl puking in my garbage belong to you?
he was once again the drunkest girl at the party
You know it's been awhile when the imagery of fucking AT A DENNY'S gets me really turned on.
no, I didn't go in the end. Too hungover and hot, plus Star Wars is on so obviously I'm having a naked day.
yeah I had to wear a fucking diaper from work home so I didn't get the shitty squirts all over my cars seats it was fucked
So I have three weeks to get rid of his girlfriend and fuck him senseless before he goes to jail
Why is there a trampoline for sale in my front yard?
I threw up soo much that I started crying. Then his grandma randomly came in and started rubbing my back...
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