Take a Tylenol with a HUGE glass of water before you pass out, you'll thank me in the morning.
i dony have tylonal but i had a snickers and popcorn and a bottle of water and i am.. brushing my teeth!
i really like this girl i slept with last night
you ask her out again?
yeah but she said she is busy next weekend getting married
lesson #67 learned in college: a three day old margarita, is still a margarita.
so how was last night?
got high and had our usual talk about the definition of cole slaw. then tried to call the ramen noodle company and convince them why my face should be on thier packages.
I like that we make it a requirement to howl at the moon every time we get drunk together.
they esentially rejected my mermaid threesome offer:(
He told him to "throw up in my mouth like I'm a baby bird."
If a man doesnt have the ability to fuck you well on a small climbing wall, I don't think he deserves you.
yep you were here saturday. if you woke up smelling like vanilla i can explain.
I don't know. She kept pirouetting across the kitchen while making dinner. I just sat there stoned.
Can you come pick me up and take me to breakfast then the police station?
Where's your car?
The girl I brought home apparently stole it
....she made me stop for like 3 minutes so she could talk to her cat....
I apologize in advance for the amount of cleavage I'll be exposing your boyfriend to.
we had sex while we waited for the thai food... a which will come first type of situation
Grandma had me open the boxes that were delivered today. She got a sex swing, I've settled on "You go girl" as my official reaction.
Randomize
