I just packed a bowl in my room and use glad press n' seal to cover it so it wouldn't dump out in my pocket .
My coke dealer called me at midnight just to ask how to spell a word. Not sure how I should feel about that.
HOW DID U BEAT A GAY GUY IN GAY CHICKEN?
at least the cop wrote "happy birthday" on the ticket.
I want a nosebag of coke after my exam. Like what horses have. Coked up horses. No excuses. I love you.
I left boob prints on the hood of his car. Something to remember me by.
college stoner meal of the day: microwaved nutrigrain bars
I JUST WANT TO HAVE MILDLY SOCIALLY ACCEPTABLE SEX WITH HIM AND CALL HIM CUPCAKE.
No padding. I spent my whole summer with my nips out. October don't need that too.
Is valentines day the worst or best day to ask for a threesome? I'm weighing some options on this high-risk manoeuvre.
You just kept walking around in a circle saying "well played 6th street well played" before falling over.
I built a fence. For the bunnies we're going to adopt. I'll fill you in when you get home.
wanna come over? I have movies.
sure, what movies
porn or disney, your choice
"What's your dick like homie" is not really an acceptable thing to say out loud
Comedy Central is in dire need of more sitable faces late at night - Trevor Noah has a baby face - there are federal rules against those types of sexual fantasies
Randomize
