k so who do I think I'm kidding applying to culinary school? I just fucked up a microwaveable pizza
the only thing i can think of after seeing avatar is "when are they gonna make avatar porn?"
just googled chastity belt to see if it really exist..
Well i just learned hong kong is a country...thank you olympics
i just realized why god gave us younger siblings....to DD for us when we come home for the summers
She jerked me off while she drove us back from Denver going 70mph. It was both the scariest and most erotic moment of my life.
I think he finally resigned to the fact he could not get off. He just looked at me and said "I'm having testicle difficulties," rolled over and passed out.
Also, turning on the light this morning was a 3 step process. Way too hungover.
I'm looking for mother nature. And when I find her, I'm looking her right in the eyes and telling her to fuck off.
I think I'm allergic to vodka. Or people getting engaged. One or the other. I want to die.
Surely the maintenance men have seen worse than that condom right
I don't think you understand what laundry day means. I am wearing a swimsuit as underwear and my spanish club tshirt from junior high
It was one of those "how did I get to my bed and what am I wearing" mornings.
Please tell me you did not shit your Disney princess costume.
After round two, I told him he deserves an award. He bowed and did a princess wave WHILE his dick was still inside me.
Randomize
