Princeton has an emergency contraception worldwide website. It is in moments like these that I love my university
I'm like connect-the-dots of drunk. Whiskey, bourbon, vodka, rum, gin. The hidden picture is me faceplanting.
All I remember was yelling at him, "Its becasue of people like you that it took us so long to get to the moon!"
I've started bribing my dorm's security guard with cookies so that he doesn't tell all the boys i'm hooking up with about each other.
I resisted the temptation to hold the cake in one hand to alternate bites with the ruffles I was eating. I decided that might make me look dysfunctional.
Sad Megan is Sad
Have you been drinking my beer?
I just used my AAA membership to fix a strippers flat tire in return for a lapdance...does that make me a bad person?
This is worse then when all the pharmacists sang me happy birthday while I was buying plan b
She was eating leaves off of trees and saying it was salad, and even told a guy in passing that her favorite color was plaid.
I'm just gonna clean the house so my Mom won't think I'm hung over. I'll just start with the toilet
Something tells me your "Titties for Tracy Morgan" fundraiser won't pan out.
He serenaded me say anything-style with Weird Al songs and then blew me on the beach. I'd say he's a keeper.
Sometimes being bisexual is a curse. Turns out I banged both of her older twin brothers last summer.
There's a point in life when you've got to take dick like a big girl.
I stole a block of cheese from the party last night and put it in my purse but I got so drunk that I left my purse on the floor and my dog ate it.
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