okay I'm thinking he doens't have a facebook...I'm on page 28 of Hunters
ok you need to stop NOW
so i walked in, looked up the stairs and all i saw was smashed pumpkin, tube socks, and marinara sauce
we went through the mcdonalds drive through and you asked for a free sample of their fries to see how you liked them.
i just got cum up my nose. i would have expected more from the captain of the men's lacrosse team
She was surprised when she saw all our living room furniture was made from old kegs. It's like she's never met us before...
...Saturday night. Get your dick ready. We are going to go nuts. I want to have sex fucking everywhere.
He showed up in a dinosaur costume bearing a tray of cupcakes. He even let me hold his tail. I'm marrying this guy.
I wish the sun would stop judging me for being drunk while it's still shining.
thanks for not telling him i named my trumpet after his dick
I was walking out the front door and heard his roomate say "It looks like you need a chiropractor." I think my work here is done.
So I just went to clothing optional bar
We're meant to be. Apparently God wants me to get dicked down pretty good too so I'm not complaining about destiny
never let me tell the bartender to cut me off, i basically told on myself
I’m at the Eye doc, sitting in the waiting room. The woman next to me is highlighting passages in her bible. I’m watching pornhub on mute. I clearly need some penis, or Jesus.
I've been eaten out in coupes, sedans, trucks, suv's, you name it. If I can do it in a smart car, you can do it in a vw beetle.
I knew you were the expert on doing it in public. You need to get paid for your advise
Randomize
