His idea of a romantic evening was shotgunning Keystones. What a keeper.
Apparently, banging my bartender ex-girlfriend = free drinks again. Not every bad decision is a wrong decision.
Don't worry about it. I've taken so much Plan B, my uterus is purely for show now.
I don't know where my bra went.
Welll you ran into the street, took it off and yelled "I'm a free woman!". And then you threw it at some homeless guy.
Just saw a woman in a hospital gown with a Steelers jersey on top smoking a cigarette while hooked up to an IV outside of the hospital. I love Pittsburgh.
she wrote "need hug!" on a sticky note, put it on her back, and passed out on his bed. they're trying to figure out how she got into his room...
I guess our biggest consolation is that we haven't woken up in a hottub with a dead dude. Yet.
I got woken up by a construction worker, turns out I was laying in a hallway, naked and wrapped in a matress pad. To answer your question no, I did not study for this test I got David Hasselhoff drunk
It's time for everyone's favorite Wednesday night game... WHEEL OF. VODKA!!!!!
If he shows up in a "mount n dew" me shirt im throwing him to the lesbians
my last clear memory of the night was being offered a shot but having so much alcohol in my hands that someone literally had to pour it in my mouth for me. after that it pretty much skips to waking up face down and shirtless on my floor.
Apparently I blacked out and started wrestling with some dude last night. Just found out I might have dislocated his shoulder. Best part: he still wants to bone me
I just smoked a bowl alone and took my Zyrtec here's to a full night.
I WANT TO JUMP IN TO A VOLCANO
That was my first party and they were so suprised that this little freshman girl was a FUCKING BEER PONG QUEEN.
Randomize
