He's on drugs...like drugs for horses.
taking shots each time the weatherman says Dont go out in this blizzard
Stuck in the Dallas airport. At the bar. Everytime a flight to DC gets cancelled, I'm takin a shot. Fuck you snow.
Im so ripped right now that i just filled the almost empty bottle of choc syrup with milk and drank it straight out of the bottle. It was on pointttttt.
Isn't that the only thing she's good at? Complaining and blow jobs?
I imagine the nuva ring like a bug zapper. It just kills them all.
Stoned ambition #8. Must learn sign language.
She kept sniffing my sweater and tried to guess what type of detergent I use.
I'm officially no longer allowed to make any of my own decisions regarding alcohol, men, or the combination of both. Thats up to you now. Do me proud.
Grab some lube and condoms and you get a free shirt? College is weird
Every time we have sex, I feel his dick ramming my soul into submission. Problem is..... I LIKE THAT SHIT!
To get him to come she paid for his uber and promised that someone in the house would give him head. it worked
I'm gonna adopt her diet plan of secretly sleeping w a desperate ex... It combines excersise & loss of appetite due to guilt
just ran into my father at CVS while buying condoms...he winked at me. I really need to move out of this town.
He's eating a sriracha ravioli sandwich. How do you think the night is going?
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