I can tell how much and what I drank by my morning shits
There is somethin about your sexuality that makes my dick do jumping jacks when I see you
i just watched kanye west and taylor swift have a chugging contest. why cant halloween be every day
I briefly wondered why they weren't in school, but after the tinier one shouted "check out dem titties!" I had my answer
I legitimately woke up with a girl trying to snort cocaine off my dick.
from the looks of the bare footprints in the snow it looks like i was dancing in circles which explains the frozen puke
I fucked her and then she made me sleep on the floor next to her bed because she 'has a committment problem'
she was stripping to whiskey lullaby. most depressed boner.
Just witnessed a bar fight started by a guy wearing a construction vest cuz he didn't like the other guys shirt
The Vegas crew is in two groups, Team Vodka and Team Fireball. There is no winner in this.
Yea he called the cop officer fonzarelli and asked him if he was mad because happy days was off the air. Boom, beaten and arrested
One of the art pieces was basically this chick throwing raw meat at the audience, anyone who got hit (which I did) got a free shot of whiskey. It was worth it.
Well if your hearts not big enough, your penis certainly is. Just have a threesome
I AM GETTING LAID TONIGHT YES HAPPY DAY PRAISE JESUS ALMIGHTY IN HEAVEN DEAR GOD CHRIST YES DADDY YAAASSS
so my parents definitely heard me when I was cumming last night...
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