the recession has oofficially hit my standards.
and technically it was a rebound
so lol
and then you got rebounded for the same girl he rebounded you for and still never scored ... it was like watching an LA Clippers game
"Hung over, tired and having a faint scent of some body butter and random pieces of glitter from a girl named gigi, almost arrested in drug bust, $40 Canadian in my pocket and all i got was this lousy Tshirt" shirts dont exist, but they need to
I'd like to say he was whispering sweet nothings into my ear all night but really he was just whispering "pussyyy"
his life revolves around getting high and answering people on yahoo answers. he's perfect for you.
I swear to Christ if it turns out to be an intervention, i will set you on fire.
We are stranded. Come find us. Bring an egg
Its not gay if you're best friends and there's less than an inch of dick in the picture. That's where the line is drawn
I'm starting a point system. For every 2 beer runs i do for u slackers i get a free bottle of Barefoot.
I hate when you actually try to sing and people think you're joking so you just go with it, but on the inside you're crying.
I gave them the 'I used to fuck your son' discount.
how should I feel if a guy kept complimenting my bangs while I was giving him a blowjob?
Roommate charged out of his room in pajamas yelling "MAKE IT RAIN" and just threw $4,000 in fifties onto my head. My Friday night.
look, im sorry that i yelled at your little brother, threw my car keys at him and smashed a stale cookie with a pool cue, but i swear to god i didn't poop on the floor. it was one of your dogs.
We just fucked in the park on a bench and a guy with a dog walked past us and the dog walked right up to us while the guy stared at his phone.
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