Just tried on my bathing suit for the first time this year. Had to drink a beer to numb the pain.
I just remember getting him back by licking the window on his truck.
it's not a party till someone uses the fire extinguisher.
She alternated between blowing me and feeding me bites of the sandwich she made for me.
You know your in for a great weekend when you buy the booze already in crutches
Yes, I am about to pass out on my beanbag with a mason jar of wine. Welcome to the south freshmen.
OHMYGOD did I try to use pinesol as a mixer?
I NEED YOU HERE TO KNOCK THE MALT BEVERAGES OUT OF MY MOUTH
drinking from the bathtub cause I'm too lazy to walk downstairs and too thirsty to care
Nothings harder than putting on a frozen condom.. or should I say softer
correction: my vagina hates that I'm smart.
I have just been informed that my company has ray guns. I WORK FOR ACTUAL BOND VILLAINS. THIS IS NOT A DRILL.
This is what happens when you leave: I get all vulnerable and I make out with the cowboy to shut him up about Jesus.
seriously considering getting an electric blanket rather than sleeping with guys this winter for warmth.
would you eat cereal with weed in it
who is this???
Randomize
