You guys sftrill at mcdondalds?!!!!
Yes.
fuckin bring me a cheseburgeria
yeah it was kind of like, i'm 27 and still live in a frat house.. you honestly expect me to have "moral fiber" and a "conscience"
we were like drunken butterflies among sober caterpillars,
walked into class wearing my zorro costume. some girl just said "oh my god, i fucked zorro this weekend." I found her.
Next time she asks for a ride to her "cousins" house and it turns out to be a booty call we're charging her for each mile.
Did I get stoned on a sunday afternoon and speak to someone on the phone for an hour about cats and their behaviour? Glad you asked. And yes.
Also, my aunt grabbed my phone and downloaded the scriptures. Apparently I need Jesus.
I woke up completely naked with the exception of my leg warmers. Last night must have been interesting.
Its official... I need to stop being so slutty.. the guy I had sex with on friday delivered my jimmy johns tonight.
that is either the most profound and meaningful thing i've ever heard, or someone got high before noon again.
He literally knows my vagina better then I do.
If God is analyzing my life right now extremely proud or dissapointed but either way I took wednesday night drinkin to new levels
Who else has a jello penis in their fridge?!
Do you think the hole in the ceiling will count against our security deposit?
You don't understand. This boy has the Mona Lisa of cocks.
Randomize
