ally, we are sitting by a fire and you are totally hot. no pun intended
ok, i just want to know who did it and which end it came out of
you know, even black out drunk I can always remember the exact point where I should have stopped drinking.
that was probably me. ive bitten a lot of people.
Apparently there was a point in the night that they literally thought he was dead, ass naked on the floor. That bad.
He's coming over for beer and a movie, but I just don't know if he's interested.
Pathetic and sad. I should come over there and fuck both of you just to get the ball rolling.
Hey. Be honored that I consider you the genital expert. I know alot of candidates for the position.
Just thought to myself "I should practice shotgunning a beer before Wednesday." I don't think my GPA is going to like this semester.
You should be proud. How many people can say they GAVE a stripper an std?
No, listening to the fray and drinking a bottle of jack daniels does not count as counseling
Just peed on my foot. Thank you Sunday hangovers.
NEW INFORMATION meech found me passed out on a bench outside.
What does puking wasabi feel like?
Like snorting cocaine backwards.
I also got a mission for you and you're gonna love it. Biggest. Hospital. Party. Ever.
You guys wanna start around 10:30 tomorrow?
We can start at 5am for all I care. You ask like I have plans.
Randomize