ps... at the end of one of the videos you yell "let's do the eiffel tower again.. i'll be in the middle!" .. i almost died lolol
I threw up red last night... I wanted to pinch myself because it wasn't green.
He just kept yelling "body massage machine go" at random intervals throughout the night
hey you knew what you were in for when i showed up with 2 fifths of Jim. plus i left money to pay for a new sink
I had to throw a towel over the bottles cuz it hurts to look at them
I'm at a winery and there's a 50 yr old woman sitting at a table alone with a bottle of wine and the only time I've seen her get up is to harass the hot dog guy
From russia with love. But also with chlamydia.
If you could watch a water balloon run... That's what it's like watching her run.
So good!! I became real good friends with an adorable black lesbian couple from Baltimore and a man in a diaper.
Right as the plane left the gate the brownies kicked in. I dont think the guy next to me appreciated my engine noises as we took off
I don't like how my gyno is telling me how to live my life.
One of my pillows is missing but it's cool because there is a beef stick.
She came home, put on the news, left a 20 minute drunk message on her friends machine, then proceeded to play back the entire message laughing hysterically and then just passed out
Just looked at my bank statement. 9 out of 10 transactions on the first page were from 9 different bars. The 10th was for birth control pills at the pharmacy. I need to rethink my lifestyle.
Not sure what you smoked, but you put raw bacon on the lazy Susan and spent 45 minutes looking at it and mumbling Meat Spin
Randomize
