Once you see the odd facial expressions and noises a guy makes while he is furiously beating off on top of you, it kind of puts things into perspective.
you freaked out because you thought your face lotion was cum in a bottle
i've never seen someone fall down the steps so gracefully... i think im in love
How's work?
Spinning.
at one point he was caressing me in the kitchen asking me my name over and over again and then asking what my favorite continent was
I literally told her "she's a sandwich I'd like to make" and that's all it took
They had their heads out of the car singing the wrong words to the national anthem as we drove through traffic of people leaving the fireworks. AMURICA
did i really sing to your nipples last night?
yes. and it was oddly very seductive
I just want to have normal problems like what kind of puppy to get, or should I pay a hooker to fuck Scott, or even a dilemma about fucking Twizzlers. I don't know.
Would it be weird to jack off in the hospital?
Finally smoked with my brothers, I feel like I just won gold at the Best Older Brother Ever Olympics
You can't just take out your bong for hits in public places... That's what pipes are for. You've got to be stealthier.
No, it's okay because this is the city of trees.
YOU'VE ALREADY BEEN BUSTED MORE THAN ONCE. THAT'S NOT A VALID EXCUSE FOR BONG HITS IN COFFEE GARDEN
He lasted less than 30 sec. in bed and then sent me a friend request on LinkedIn. Wtf.
when your dumb AF ex “accidentally” venmos you $50 and texts you asking for it back..... —sorry I accidentally deleted your number and cashed out
I want to ride that like one of the Horsemen of the Apocalypse- with bourbon in hand and without mercy.
Randomize
