we went to a bar last night, drank beer in plastic cups. I took pics w/a random kid i pulled into a photobooth & i have easy mac in my purse. I belong here.
I want to dip my vagina in sugar. Not only will it be sweet, but it will have a nice sparkle.
And this is weird.. I feel slightly less depressed after shitting myself.
I just found out how hard it is to put together a fake Christmas tree with a hangover.
It's gotten to the point where even copying off yahoo answers is still way too much work.
The lawn was on fire, but I fixed it.
I just decorated my birth control case with Lisa Frank stickers. If that doesn't scream 'I'm not ready for babies' I don't know what does.
We still on for coffee?
Cream and sugar. Deliver to planned parenthood in 45.
Seriously. All i can say is im covered in mud, my jaw hurts, i cannot straighten my arm, egg is everywhere, and there is a dead squirrel.
That works. I won't care. I'll be a mermaid. Mermaids don't give a fuck.
Especially drunk mermaids.
I just woke up naked next to a GetGo sandwich and I can hear my cats are eating my combos. So that's my life.
So the bar crawl I'm on is a "90s bar crawl" and I made the joke about a few overweight girls that "lack of concern for your weight is so 90s" it did not end well
He told me that after two hours of fucking he feels as though his dick wants to detach from his body and go to Mexico..
i hooked up with all four beatles on halloween get on my level
I know you’re not my dad, but you’re someone’s dad. You’re also like a second dad to me as well. And one who I send nudes to as well. Happy Father’s Day
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