I'm totally gay for Miss Californiaaaaaa
oh sweet, sweet irony
well, if it gives you any insight into how crazy it was, i am currently wikipediaing "anullment"
he just booty called me in advance instead of waiting til 3 am when hes trashed. i think thats really considerate and gentlemanlike.
just saw a girl come out of the tanning bed room on crutches, now thats determination
i woke up, turned over, and noticed an assortment of knives stuck in my wall. i should prob stop drinking
then we talked for a little and he asked my last name which since I have yet to get a fb request I'm 95% sure its for a restraining order
You were force feeding yourself jello and you kept repeating, "I will not surrender"
I've never felt more disgusting in my life. And I'm including the time I snuggled that homeless woman in the puddle of my whiskey vomit.
I'm getting turned down for sex. Apparently my "sexual appetite" cannot be satiated even by a man who's such a deviant he went to prison for jerking off in his car.
Why would you waste your Ritalin on your children?
Yup, found the vomit in the side compartment. My bad.
I am going to go back to drinking and listneing to Hanson now. Maybe crying. Or perhaps Full House reruns
We should probably feel disgusted that we took turns eating and drunkenly passing around a burrito the size of a small dog but i’m ok with it.
So I got offered a job this morning based on being a "good role model for girls" and I am drunk at 330 in the afternoon in "celebration." sometimes, life is insane. But not so bad.
He has a syndrome called asshole. And it flares up 24/7.
Randomize
