Just saw the homeless asian lady making a hispanic man pull her shopping cart with a harness. I love Boston.
i'm lost and i look like a hooker
It wasn't a wasted relationship. I got road-head in an Escalade. I still keep that with me.
ohhh no, absolutely not. i am waaayyy too superstitious to have sex with the self-proclaimed "baby-maker" on father's day...
She suggested that I come visit her in Europe and hook up with the heteroflexible Korean who sits next to her in class. Polylove is the best love.
How do you feel?
Like the devil himself shit me out, baked me into a pie, ate the pie, and shit me out again.
I just remembered that last night I ate nachos off of someone else's table with a stranger
we were looking for paper towels to wrap his hand and i yanked a drawer out of the cabinet, it was fun so we just kept doing it. things escalated and long story short, he isn't gettin his security deposit back
New guy at the liquor store was inexplicably fascinated by our huge jug of williams. First he said what are you gonna mix THAT with? and looked confused when I said air.
You're 21st was epic. I woke up at 6 a.m. on the floating beer pong table in the pool with a beer still in hand. Didn't even spill any
I'm at the level of despair that only Panda Express can fix
Dude she smelled like bar-b-que sauce. I can't think of anything better.
apparently in the middle of sex, i said "i just really love the food network i watch it every day"
My nipples are YOUNG and they need TWISTING
I’m not sure she knows my name. She introduced me as “the fuck toy”
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