I just found a porn show called cleavagefield. no i am not watching.
Woke up in 100% not my clothes this morning. Third time this month. Fuck. Tequila.
My brother brings gifts into my room to wrap them. It's a pizza cutter and a box of condoms..
watching "look who's talking now." getting choked up at the end when they find each other at the cabin
doesn't that movie star kirstie alley and have talking dogs in it? new low...even for you
One night stand. Woke up at her dad's house. She already left for work. Shit's about to go down.
I hope he didn't notice that my shirt was inside out when I told him I didn't have sex with the guy. Kind of a dead giveaway.
I refuse to go to this wedding alone, or sober. Practice drunk-walking in heels and a Bridesmaid dress begins tonight.
i figure now that we're number one party school im obligated to black out at least 4 days a week. andddd go.
This girl has a mullet weave. I missed oakland.
I gave him my yeast infection. HOW THE FUCK DOES THAT EVEN WORK?
I actually had to tell him that sex doesn't replace my Tupperware. Our relationship has reached a weird level.
the fact that you have a guy named the "i want you to tie me up and fuck me" guy speaks volumes about your life.
We're ordering chinese food so if you want to get on this obesity train answer me now.
I literally JUST MADE IT to the liquor store. I bought a box of wine with the lights off
He made a group chat with him, his wife, & I. Is this really life!??
Randomize
