If a woman tells you she has been pink socked...don't move forward with her.
DUDE DUDE I JUST GOT TH E BEST IDEA FOR A CHILDRENS BOOK "If You Give A Girl A Blow Job"
some dude is getting blown right outside the bar in his car. reeediculous
class
he's dribbling her head like he's fucking allen iverson
watching law and order svu marathons. all of the sex crimes cases start like my sat night.
You stole her bday cake and shared it with drunk strangers on the street.
How much would it be to rent out Gus Johnson so he can announce our flip cup games?
If we don't get kicked out of this hotel tonight for fucking too loud we're breaking up
Get everyone out of their dorms and watch 3 girls do the walk of shame from my room.
Because if the best sex I've ever had was with a gay guy, then God help me.
I hugged the bouncer as we left.
i fucking swear, saying shit like "i dont get jealous" is like personally inviting your slutty friend to fuck the guy you slept with like a month ago
It's called the dick transitive property. It states if you touch a person whilst they touch a dick, you are also touching said dick.
My dad lost his bandaid somewhere in the turkey. It was a mixture of thanksgiving and an Easter egg hunt
No I kepy moaning and just called out a name to make them believe I was actually having sex instead of masturbating.
Give me a few. Gonna ride the rollercoaster.
Randomize
