I'm trying this new thing, it's called standards
everytime i listen to a chris brown song and like it i feel like i bad person
Did you see Brett Michaels get knocked on his ass?
Hurt me personally.
Knocked his cowboy hat off... Bandanna was still good though
I think my hot accountant is wearing banana republic. I miss the days when that ='ed gay. Signals are so confusing now.
She was that classic mixture between "Hell no" and "Why the fuck not."
You know, I never expected to find myself with a roommate who I'd have to ask not to have sex while I'm in the room. And yet, here we are.
Best part of failing a semester of college: not having to buy books next semester. I can drink to that
It's take your daughter to work day... I really shouldn't be here right now
Does Jim keep sending you pics of him in drag too???? If so, are you also slightly uncomfortable?
I'm pretty sure the Jahovah's witness only came to our door because the front says "Twerk Or Treat"
He fingered me in a Waffle House bathroom and then stole a traffic cone. Is this love that I'm feeling?
Hey, you know that marble art statue thing in your bedroom? Hypothetically what would happen if a penis got stuck in it?
We were too tired to finish having sex so we just stopped to eat the cheesecake and passed out. I didn't mind
Ok so I need a recap of last night...
YOU SPENT SIX DOLLARS AT NICKEL BEER NIGHT!!! How's that
so all I remember is hig-fiving the cop and then sprinting away. considering I'm not in jail, I count that as a win.
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