Let's just say he looked at my vagina like it was a rubics cube.
And when I look at him, I just want him to say "I love you" in between deep thrusts and hard grunts.
We dont have to go to dinner or anything gay like that. I just wanna do it.
I absolutely love you.
you'd think with how big her nose is she'd have a better smelling pussy..
do people in england often walk their sheep on leashes? or is this guy the exception to the rule?
Just saw some guy walking down the street rapping about various types of pasta.
I hated hipsters before it was mainstream.
I may have been hammered and in a wheelchair but I definitely remember asking the hospital reseptionist to marry me
What type of outfit says "I know you slept with my boyfriend before and are also way skinnier than me, but I look better...somehow"
And then I learned that we are dating when I said it's out of line to bring fuck buddies home to meet the parents. And then I was single.
I'm not upset because i like you. I'm upset because I can't use you for the sex anymore.
I've been timing it. He's been showering alone for 33 minutes. 4 minutes ago, he said "truth or dare." haven't heard anything since.
How do we turn this unicorn pinata into a bong?
Had weird bad dreams about you last night. Please tell me you didn't google my real surname and that you don't go to a needle exchange.
You should probably come home from vacation now. I make badddd decisions when you're gone.
Randomize
