How do I get over judging people who I would be exactly like if I had a boyfriend
Get a boyfriend
Why do girls get to wear clothes that say "do me now" but guys don't have that kind of option?
I mean, what would the male equivalent of a slutty dress be?
some guy just got out of his chair quietly. Laid down on the floor and is now asleep in between rows in my lecture hall. He must have had a rough night.
The party theme was heirs and heiress's. Most guys came in polo shirts but he came as the "arch duke of vagina".
I lost my phone so I put sticky notes all over my roommates body asking her to wake me up at 7:00 AM.
I just walked past a woman in the bar stroking a mans crotch, yelling 'I made this. I made this happen.'
I'm sorry I murdered your sperm with my alcohol saturated Olympic uterus.
I need a Xanax. A Veggie Delight. And exhibition style sex.
Oh you know, watching its always sunny and petting his cat and NOT fucking. I'm starting my whorefree 2012 resolution early.
pretend your vagina is a choco taco and the guy is someone who really loves choco tacos. let him enjoy the choco taco.
Mm. I just want to eat pancakes off of his fine ass.
Is it weird that I Facebook creep hot people from their credit card receipts?
Being single for so long makes me fucking creepy.
dude, I convinced you I was your conscience for like 15 minutes last night. you weren't just "a little high"
I just used a thesaurus to write a sext...
I wonder if my sister will drive me around while I do bong hits in the back seat..
Randomize
