Why do you proceed to call me "Queen La Queefah?"
the dr. explained that the first big patch is called a herald patch since it's biggest. So his name is Harold the Patch.
Wow. You named your rash.
i can tell by the sound of your bed that he isnt that good at sex.
dont get mad but guess who just got banned for life from dodger stadium
Now that world cup is done, funneling out of a vuvuzela has lost its fun
he then proceeded to tear down my curtains, wrap them around his waist, and use the rod as his "rod"... you tell me how drunk he is...
She had another shot and asked if I wanted to taste her tongue ring. Then I helped her pee.
I just had a flash of memory of me asking all of the girls if they were on their periods. If they said yes I said it made us moon sisters.
If I end up married to you I better get lots of orgasms to help me forget I failed at life.
there is vodka in my soul right now. The vapor is coming out my nose.
I'm using my ex bfs phone number to look up his Kroger card so I can get a discount on condoms...yep this is my life
So, I'm about to take my pants off in the Walmart parking lot, when am old lady parks next to me. I'm all the way in the back next to the semis. What the hell?
Why would you get kicked out?
Well, an overweight man is currently not wearing a shirt. Or pants. And is getting in touch with his inner Chippendale. You can probably fill in the blanks.
Sorry 4 always trying to rope you into my sexual exploits
I don't feel like that was meant as a compliment, but really still feels like one
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