Let me tell you a story about the rise and fall of my self esteem
he texted me telling him i gave him the clap. but i think he gave it to me and i gave it back to him
god I hate her. why can't she just fuck and leave like a normal slut.
she really just asked how mermaids reproduce.
A friday without alcohol is hardly a friday at all
I'm watching Intervention to get pumped up for tonight
He doesn't fuck you and he's married, why do you keep letting him cum all over your stomach?
In the hopes he'll just put it in one day?
I love watching the kids I sold drugs to score touchdowns
I really don't want to. I just don't know how to nicely say "dude I'm having a rough time in life right now and I just need to dress like a stripper cop, get shit faced, and have dirty crazy sex"
Traveling before 21 and traveling after 21 are two different things. There's a whole nother world of red white and blue weird out there
he fell asleep like an hour after we got to the beach, he deserved that penis shaped sunburn.
Probably twitter. Never underestimate a psycho girl with wifi
You know you're too high when you find yourself crying at " hand in my pocket" by Alanis Morissette because it's "just TOO REAL"
just walked passed a black light...apparently he DID cum.
Does sending her to the conference instead of a competent employee and putting her in a suite make up for banging her husband behind her back?
No, but she’ll have a nice memory when she gets dumped and fired on the same day.
Randomize
