is it sad that i can masturbate and get my big O just from thinking about a Tiffany engagement ring?
i just heard a guy call his kid "Google" in a way that leads me to believe that's his name. this day couldn't get worse.
Hungover Fun Fact #4: Eating a grilled stuffed burrito WILL make you blow chunks in the ice maker at work.
He said I taste like butterscotch, licked me, then I'm pretty sure he wet his pants. So no, I do not want to invite him over.
he was terrible at kissing, so i just kept letting him motorboat me. he seemed very pleased with my choice
Its your turn to fuck our RA next time she threatens us with an underage.
I hope no one at work will be able to read the "who wants body shots" on my chest. I forgot about it.
I rarely go in there. Unless it's for mini cadbury eggs and whiskey.
He showed up 3 hours late wearing roller skates and acted like nothing was wrong with that.
We were on the balcony tossing jello shots to people passing below
When people said no i'd yell "i tried them i promise they aren't roofied!"
So maybe I got drunk and hooked up with him in a hot tub? I mean that's nothing to be ashamed of, that kind of takes talent. I'd drown.
Don't make me do math I'm drunk and full of chicken
Need advice bro. Which one should I take: the blonde devil crying in the corner or the brunette crawling on the floor acting like a dinosaur??
the only decorations on the Christmas tree were twinkle lights, condoms, and empty natty cans. I do love a classy holiday party
Ill try not let guys feel my boobs for free drinks next time, no promises tho. I am my boyfriends worst nightmare.
Randomize