I use a guy for sex and get three minutes out of him. go figure
Got a plan. Ill do rock paper scissors and if you win we smoke a joint. Throw rock.
you know your drunk when 7 soccer players cant catch up to a tranny in high heels who just stole your wallet
I just hope this isn't happening Final Destination style
Travis Barker would totally be Devon Sawa in this scenario
oh my god. my mom just found my pipe. she thought it was a dildo.
like i said, there should be a sitcom about your family.
Black out sex on the trampoline? yes please.
I've been drunk so often this summer being sober is exciting
I like to keep a steady black out going for the holidays. I feel it makes me less cynical
Bro what are you doing Thursday the day before I go to jail??
Ps this homeless dude just came in hotel bar w a sword sticking out his jumpsuit trying to buy a drink w a 3rd party check
My boyfriend just asked what time I was coming over. As soon as my old BF unchains me. I think he ran away.
I just want every freshman guy to know about Grindr just so I can have more options
I'm starting to think that birthday sex is just an urban legend. Like the boogey man, and woman orgasms.
My breath smells like gin and sadness
I want to ride that like one of the Horsemen of the Apocalypse- with bourbon in hand and without mercy.
Randomize
