My ATM looks so different sober.
No way. Our relationship is based solely on texting and sex. A phone call would be too much at this point.
When I sent you a text telling you to splash water on your face, you texted me back with 'Iwehre N qyull.'
Idk tell her to wear something sluttty. I have that one skirt I got arrested in if she wants to borrow?
i love you man. i hope we fuck some serious shit up this summer.
PLEASE DON'T BE HEARTLESS COME AND GET ME FROM THE BAR I'M HIGH AS SHIT AND I LOST MY SHOES
But think about it. I could put her gold medal around my penis
I left the bar I'm on a bench across from the bowling alley taking a nap please come get me. I've had three lollipops.
It's a lube slip n slide down the hallway now. Details later.
Gay?
German.
Pity.
No I kepy moaning and just called out a name to make them believe I was actually having sex instead of masturbating.
How does one get out of sexting without being rude? I'm trying to watch Downtown Abbey
I thought accidentally shaving off my fingertip while trying to shave my butthole was going to be the most unexpected part of my day, but no
Sometimes I just take my boobs out of my shirt so they can get some fresh air
What do you want. Tryin to service my husband like the good wife that I am. It is bj Tuesday
Randomize
