He's slept with 25.5 people. Wtf is a half?
Yeah, she tried to drown her but then they hooked up.
Now that I'm born again, I'm preserving my gift.
Your vagina isn't a White Elephant gift. You can't re-wrap it after it's already been given several times. That's white trash thinking.
I fucking give up. OKC is where small penises go to disappoint me.
You forget how awesome toilet paper is until you have to wipe your ass with a piece of notebook paper...
By the way anyone who is willing to be in the film while tripping gets free shrooms.
okay. well, yeah. i'm a mess and a half. this shit is not what dumbledore died for.
why does CNN give a flying $@*# about the royal baby so, so much?
i hope they name him Joffrey
I watched you down those shots like a lion cub watching its mother rip apart a gazelle
I feel like the dump I just dropped is the most successful thing I've done so far today.
Learning to live poor pretty well. Cashed in all the coins in my car for nearly 60 bucks and yelled at a Pizza Hut manager, insisting I have a free pizza credit, until he just gave me a pizza.
You should of known that i was high if i refer to myself as melting into anything
is it bad that I'm more worried about having to take out my piercings than the fact that I might be having a kid
I would like you to know, a bag of cheese cubes just attacked me at work.
He ate me out on the front lawn of the post office. The people in the office across the road definitely got a show!
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