where are you
in your bedroom
how did you get in
your wife…
WTF
i jus seen this fat chick walk buy look like she had don king coming out her arm pits..
I'm babysitting and we're watching Barney and I don't understand why Barney can magically make band hats appear but he makes them make shitty ass instruments.
Barney's a jerk
I don't know if this beer pong partnership can last if you refuse to look me in the eye when we make sweet sweet clutch cup at the same time.
I dont think punching her boob is the type of reverse psychology that will get her to blow you.
Fuck. I just got my nipple tweaked by a plus size drag queen in a purple dress. I feel like I got molested by Grimace.
I think off duty cops drove me home. I may have been hitchhiking
I am trapped in a bar with french tattooed drug dealers who also blow glass art. Just in case this is bad, know what happened.
I don't know what I wash first. My body or my puke painted car. People are judging me as I drive by.
I come back upstairs and she's leaning over sink full of vomit saying 'oh my god it's the chili'
yea talk to her if you feel up to it. Just remember who you are
Oh shit sorry I just gave lion king advice sorry not mufasa
DISHONOR ON YOU. DISHONOR ON YO FAMILY. DISHONOR ON YO COW
You should just construct a mini-city, actually. Then destroy, photograph and post. Who could turn down a dick that conquered a whole city? Craigslist personals wont know what hit it.
I keep worrying the police are going to come looking for us.
For which one? Starting a fire on my porch or having sex on my porch?
I smell like Dick and happiness
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