fucking a dude
i mean: fucking a, dude
wow, that comma made all the difference there
Milquetoast, coolest word ever.
im too high. i could barely wash my hair, let alone handle a whole shower
I thought pig tail meant you were suppose to grab on to it when getting BJ
i cant remember past the part when we filled his tub with skittles.
just got high and bedazzled my bra. other than bleeding from the prongs life is so good.
I am like king midas for the gay community. everything I touch turns into a lesbian.
the theme of the baby shower is Nightmare On Prego Street
In this town being related to a brewing family or the owner of a sports team is like being royalty. It's like hooking up with the queen's nephew or something.
Take a good hard look at your life. And the number of 18-20 year olds that you have made out with in the last 6 months... and then keep doing whatever the fuck you want.
All I vaguely remember from last night is getting up on that nice mahogany table and debating about squirrel's rights
currently googling "apology gifts for when you poop on their floor"
Definitely just threw up in a mcds cup going through Wendy's drive thru. I'm way to hungover to go to work today
Is it too forward if I ask him to bring a condom when he comes over to work on our project?
Probably should start having regular sex again too to lose this breakup weight. Good cardio.
Randomize
