I'm in that akward stage between jailbait and cougar
even my farts smell like vagina
HAH. HARRY POTTER CASUAL CONVO HAS BEEN EXTENDED TO DISCUSSING WEATHER. SO PRO
what is the aproppriate waiting time between having sex and playing super Mario brothers
6 min
I had to throw a towel over the bottles cuz it hurts to look at them
he tried to catch his projectile vomit...then went back to beer pong
She just gave me a free latte.
Correction. She just have you a frothy, creamy path to that vagina.
THIS IS A FLATMATE WARNING! The white powder next to sink is washing powder I spilled and is not meant for human comsumption. I repeat- do not digest, snort or smoke the white powder next to the sink!!!!
He just showed up. He's like 5'8 and brought a beer pong table that has " I love gay boys" on it. How could this go wrong
I was like, booze is the closest thing I have to a father. Don't pour daddy down the sink
I told two kids in their homecoming outfits to use a condom because of Ebola. I may have saved a life last night
I'm currently deliberating if I'm going to be too drunk on New Years to handle wearing false eyelashes.
Because you put the dick in ridiculously amazing boyfriend. And you deserve to have nice things happen to your penis. That's why.
So this is what bad decisions tastes like...
I woke up naked next to my hot manager. Left before she woke up, and worked an entire shift with her. She has no idea.
Randomize
