sometimes i wish i had a whole other life to spend on youtube
Skipped a towel and decided to spit the cum into his face. I now owe him new contacts.
So i just bought beer on a credit card, using a fake ID, while wearing my nametag from work. All 3 have different names on them. God i love my boobs.
grad school is all the worst parts of undergrad, without the binge drinking and bad decisions to make up for it
i gave her road head last night, needless to say it wasn't the same and i bit a chunk of the inside of my cheek off.
so why was i the only one who woke up with ham stuck to my ass?
Blackout strip poker. Now. Bring flashlights because we found that candles are dangerous with nudity.
You know your in for a great weekend when you buy the booze already in crutches
You played a drinking game to fat people crying. It's a long climb to the moral high ground, why bother?
I am pretty damn sure that neither my body or his body is ready for how drunk I am getting tonight
i swear to god if you did anything to my honey bunches ill remove all the oats and shove them up your dickhole then play pinata with my foot to knock them all back out
He lit my hand on fire and bought me chicken nuggets. I'm in love.
i love how you, my friend, sends me a picture of herself wearing a shirt that says "i am dead inside" and i'm just like "awww baby you're so cute"
that's just solidarity
The hangover struggle is to real, just passed the drive thru window. Twice.
I was supposed to see Marcus tonight and he cancelled. Listen, I shaved my butt hole. Somebody is getting this WAP 😂😂😂😂
Randomize
