jackpot. dress really slutty so he knows you mean business
The guy dancing on me has three visible teeth. WHERE ARE YOU?
She was running around the bar, demanding everyone call her Jesus or else she would attack them like a llama. ack.
i take joy in having bigger boobs than others
No one actually likes Tequila. They just accept it as a fact of life. Like hpv.
I hope this doesn't become one of those friendships where we dont have sex
My patience ran out after you started clapping at the strippers everytime they took off a piece of clothing.
You obviously dont comprehend the level of insane i operate at
Was there a Canadian at your party or did I dream that?
I didnt want you guys to know I needed to puke, so I just nonchalantly did in my solo cup and threw it out the window
It isn't easy. I met him at the gym. He wanted to go out he doesn't drive so I drove and he wanted Dairy Queen where his sister is the manager. This is dating in my 20's
a guy offered me a piece of pizza if I'd make out with a random girl. We got the whole damn box and I ain't even mad
I'm fucking blazing boy. 5hr weed sauce kicked in and my entire face feels like an 8ball of gold bond flying down a mountain of Fresh powder. Just gliding.
My cousin was arrested on a class b felony for selling meth out of the back door of McDonald's where he worked. Apparently it was the extra special sauce.
It was a career choice to be sure... Mistakes were made.
Totally unrelated, but by the way I DO have one ball bigger than the other.
Randomize
