i have absolutely no control over my now miserable and whore-ish lifestyle.
he just quoted gucci mane to try and get me to give him head.
im gonna put my furry chinchilla vagina on her mother effing nose
why is there a clump of hair nailed to my wall?
I already apologized. And I got cum in my eye in return, I say your night beats mine...
Can we please stop calling your vagina the cave of wonders?
oh awks just saw the head of medical staff who I punched the bottle of wine at
you dipped you banana in queso last night.
I just texted him and asked him to keep some in case I need help sealing the deal.
Girl Scout cookies are like roofies for fat chicks.
I feel like somebody ate me, then shit me into my bed.
I respect the size of her balls.
Yeah but I don't respect the size of her anything else.
Good news. I heard back from the doctor and I don't have a liver problem.
...yet.
I didn't know how wild the party was going to be until one girl brought her pet raccoon
there is something very satisfying about getting tacos after hours of sex.
It was very surreal. They were listening to a religious podcast on morality while they both went down on me.
Randomize
