real busy. everything is packed. thats why we ended up at the strip club
I feel like your standards for women is like rent-a-centers standards for credit.
sober me hid the cigs from drunk me. sober me is a tricky bitch.
we seriously had to hang a plastic bag on his ears so he could throw up right into it.
Just made a Xanax and ginger ale smoothie. Oh Thursday you are good to me..
he's gonorrhea incarnate
He asked for a foot job. Whatever. I guess I'm swimming in new slut waters tonight.
Just had a VERY VIVID visualization of wrapping a pizza around my cock and fucking its brains out. Soooooo less weed more dates?
All three of my roommates have their significant others over. We're all hanging out in the living room. It's like I'm the trifecta of third-wheeling
He was an asshole the entire night and then tried to touch my dick in a Michaels craft store.
Sooooo, no second date?
yeah, you could tell they werent used to the strange things that i say. they were all outright shocked when i told one guy i hoped someone kidnapped him and stretched his dickhole over a fire hydrant
So I definitely fucked a guy while holding on to his pigtails like reigns last night.
The most literal cowgirl position ever.
It was going very smoothly until she noticed my boner of hope.
I just smoked weed with my physics professor. Tell me how my life is this.
That's why i need nudes. Plutonic nudes.
Randomize
