the the hell do you 'accidentaily" jizz on a shirt thats folded in a drawer?
Also, I don't remember opening my gifts from my family. It was cool when I woke up with a new ihome.
This is why I can't have Wednesdays.... Or adult decisions.
Seeing the pictures of him and i, I'm giving whiskey the win on this one. Definitely had beer goggles.
I went to McDonald's this morning still half drunk with penises drawn all over my body, when my card was declined the cashier asked if I needed Jesus
If one of us has to be polite I guess I won't sneak out while he's in the shower
i woke up with a kayak in my amazon shopping cart with 1 wrong digit on my credit card and the transaction wasn't going through.
Some guy is in my phone as Pat McAwesome.
You know it was one hell of a night when you need to use your own thong to wipe cum off your face.
I've now fucked in every motel room in this small town.
Getting high with your mom, but thinking of you!
Also, we can't be seen together looking suspicious or sexually satisfied
I was told i took a shot doing a headstand in the backseat then proceeded to barf all over my face
I had no idea you were so talented.
Why did you have to tell me he has a hammer cock? Now I can’t stop staring at his pants.
you started putting peanut butter on your pubes.
Randomize
