He belongs with you like a mcdonalds playground belongs in Chernobyl
We were just about to get down to business and shes like oh the olympics! and jumped up and turned on the tv. cockblocked by freestyle skiing. seriously?
Who won mens moguls?
That canadian guy... bilodeau... but you're missing the point, dude.
You did not just play the dead husband card again.
Post-sex chicken soup was such a good idea. It's been like an hour and I'm still applauding myself
you inspire me to be a worse person
well.. I tried flushing my sandals down the toilet
#1- I went to button my shirt only to find they were all mising. #2- I'm so fu@king sore I feel like I was sweating to the oldies all night. #3- this pounding headache I have, I blame solely on Jennifer. Everyone sounds like Billy Mays when they talk. I remember nothing from last night, I'm concerned.
Well it was tamer than the 4th of july when I blew that guy I met walking home from the fireworks
If you hear a sad honk in the wind it is me.
So I had sex in a bulldozer lastnight now that's definitely a first...
I'm running on two hours of sleep, a shot of vodka, and half of a granola bar. I can't be held responsible for what I do.
I don't remember much and some girl almost convinced me to jump off the bridge while she held my stuff...
I can't tell if you're talking about my pussy or Cape Cod.
As I took my shirt off he commented on how great my boobs where. I responded with "thanks, I grew them myself"
So, is Canada considered an excessive distance to go for a booty call? Asking for a friend...
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