apparently i tried to put my coat in the microwave.
Remember when we were trying to guess how many people could fit in my shower? The answer is 7
I hope you shit your pants in a socially devastating situation.
I should have been more specific when I asked for 8 inches.
I'm getting flash backs of last night. They're coming in song form.
I just found pizaa roll in my hair. Already been to class today
She was kinda cute. So long as you don't mind neck tattoos and bad life choices.
I just woke up entirely naked on top of a pile of some guy's laundry on his bedroom floor.
Don't forget the part about the bar bathroom stumbles.
Oh damn, you're right. I have to include that. You turned off all the lights with your head. That was impressive.
Oh god now he thinks I'm into him because I've been staring at him trying to figure out what animal he looked like
There is an unwrapped tampon, a condom, a rubber chicken and a slim Jim currently sitting on our dining room table.
I'm so cold without your freakishly high body temperature
that's the equivalent to a normal girlfriends. 'I miss you' btw
I think my sex life is about to turn into a war on two fronts
I slept naked last night on stolen pillows. I felt like a golden goddess.
IM ON THE WEIRD DRUGS AND I JUST SAW THAT TOM HARDY THING NOW I WANT TO HUMP
Randomize
