fml, blew my nose and red sprinkles came out and did the splits when i sneezed
I was totally willing to let her keep giving me blowjobs as long as she didn't think we were in a relationship.
she was left over bi-product, like the hotdog of the human race
No we didn't have sex. I got my period on his finger.
i found the one person in the world who takes longer to cum than i do... mutual dissatisfaction is probably not the best foundation for a relationship.
U know that drunk state, where at 930 the next morning your sitting in a bath in ur bathing suit trying to sober up...yeah. That's where i am..
OMG OMG OMG DID YOU KNOW THERE ARE MINI CHOCOLATE COWBOY HATS THAT MEN CAN BUY FOR THEIR PENISES?
Jumanji is 1000% better stoned while cooking breakfast.
So not the biggest tits he had his cock between. He could have lied.
They need 20 oz Capri suns with liquor. Douches need to grow up with their clients
FRIENDS DON'T LET FRIENDS WASTE THE LAST ADDERALL.
I`m watching Shallow Hal & Jack Black has better nipples than Jimmy's chick.
New rule: if someone asks if you would like to snort a xanax the answer is no.
There are some people who should not be trusted with a cell phone while drunk. You know your one of them when you call the cops on your own party.
This past week everybody of fb either got rings or semen. All I got was Covid.
Randomize
