Swine flu. Run for my life!
you kept singing the copa cabana and saying HAVE A BANANA to random people on the street. you also went up to this poor short guy and hugged him while proceeding to yell I LOVE YOU CHILD MAN into his face. please tell me you're sober now
Apparently mid blow job I started crying telling her how "Wonderful this blow job is"
I made him recite stats from the playoffs game last night before I would go down on him.
OK am i seriously the only one who thinks Cocaine Tuesdays is a bad idea?
I may or may not go. send a pic of a nipple so I know how much fun you're having
WHO THE FUCK TAGS THEMSELVES AT COUNTY JAIL?!?!
Wow I didn't even consider the possibility of him having ED. I'm gaining so many life experiences from dating an older man
What's it called where you go to the stripclub with two guys that have both gone down on you...
Tuesday
His constant posting of "inspirational" Taylor Swift quotes over the past 3 days has me a little worried. It's like, holy shit dude, you're almost 30.
Just found out I made out with the 40 year old Captain of the boat at the barge party. On the bright side he let me drive the boat so at least there's that.
I was trying to remember why my knees hurt then I remembered I was twerking on the countertops.
His dog was laying on the bed and he said we could have sex as long as we didn't disturb his dog. My life is pathetic
Per my usual Thursday, I blacked out and slept on the stairs.
I got wine drunk and bought a hedgehog
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