C thinks vomiting on the batroom floor = reaon not to party. Lies. Party continues.
I'm either going to be a Playboy Playmate or take over the world. Either way the world wins.
I just spent $27 on things to pee on.
I wish costco sold astroglide.
i wish my brain was less awake, and didn't try and picture what you were talking about.
Sandwiches eeeeeeverywhere.
We tried to play doctor all sexually then he was taking down my 'symptoms' I said I needed to puke he thought it was part of the game
He said I taste like butterscotch, licked me, then I'm pretty sure he wet his pants. So no, I do not want to invite him over.
all of his pictures were taken on a library computer, how did you even consider fucking him?
You screamed at all of us and then showed us your sack. You're like the boyfriend of my dreams.
Well, if worst comes to worst, I have pictures of his penis that I can put on the internet
when I was walking home I wad so excited to see a cat on the sidewalk but it was really a traffic cone
You ran outside of the party to do the rain dance and swim in puddles
Your cat ate my taco.
. . . I don't have a cat?
It was laying in your bed. Now it's hunting for more tacos.
We're just starting to open presents and I already need a shot. This is gonna be a long Christmas day.
Drunk me made cabbage burritos at 1am after going to hustler hollywood.\nI bought socks. Lol
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