I just wanted to let you know that if you dont tell me to stop texting i will still keep on trying, you matter to me
restraining order is on its way, crazy bitch
I just peed or puked all or around my parjibgb lot.
parking. I am not drunk
oh well at that point I was already depressed with life because I had watched the bratz movie.
dude...I wrote 15 jersey shore quotes on her body. she is going to do the walk of shame with snookie on her forehead.
Canada: barely better than America at a sport they invented.
I think I breastfed the cat at some point during the night, at least that's what my nipples are saying
I feel bad for the next person that's gonna live in my room. There's so much semen on the carpet
It's been so long since i rode in a trunk. I'm riding in a trunk btw
They all laughed at me when I bought that necklace from Life Alert. Who's laughing now?
I just want school to he over so we can build a big tent, do drugs inside it, and watch cartoons until the sun comes up.
That's all I've ever wanted.
I just told the toilet I loved it. Bad sign.
I mean I'm into guys with money but more into guys I'm actually attracted to
yeah i guess i'd rather he was hot than rich
wow i don't know if that qualifies as growing up but if it does i'm all in
Apparently hitting a bong with your mouth half numb is hilarious but frustrating!
He stumbled in drunk at 7am, while we were getting ready for work. He poured a bowl of Cap'n Crunch, poured Jack Daniels on it., and said he was having "Captain Jack" for breakfast. I don't know how he's alive and employed. I hope the Cap'n calls in sick for him today.
Who the fuck gets injured on a merry-go-round? HOW IS IT POSSIBLE??
Randomize